If you’re in an unhappy marriage where you and your spouse have many hostile arguments, you’re not only stressed — but according to researchers, you are also doubling your risk of developing heart disease.

Heart disease is known as Australia’s biggest killer. It is often not noticeable until it’s dangerous. Other serious and chronic diseases are now also linked with long-term resentment.

These days, about half of all new marriages end in divorce. Other marriages roll on for years in constant hostility, whether or not the anger is expressed.If this might be affecting you — are you willing to try something new?  (Especially if reading this is making you angry…)

Hardening your arteries too

Words said (or shouted) in anger can hurt your arteries as well as your feelings, say University of Utah researchers targeting anger effects with couples,

Researchers  videotaped 150 married couples in 6-minute conversations about money, in-laws and other stressful topics. They followed this with CT scans that checked arteries for heart attack risk factors.

They found that:

o Women who heard or made hostile comments were 30% more likely than other women to have hardened arteries, and
o Men who heard or said controlling comments, the same.

Avoiding arguments is difficult, even impossible, living close to a partner long-term. So it’s doubly important to quickly neutralise any anger involved, both for your own sake and the sake of the relationship. Conventional anger management techniques can be effective but probably require time and diligence.

However, if you learn and use the simple techniques of EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques), you can quickly resolve stress, anxieties, and anger.   EFT quickly combines fingertapping on key acupuncture points with focussed thought…and stress tends to melt away.

It’s not all bad news!

Overall, not many people are clued into self-care enough to actually work through their anger issues to vanishing point.  Up to 20 years ago, this could take quite a while to do, and might involve many sessions with a professional relationships expert.

Fortunately, arguing partners can improve their health and change their fighting habits quickly these days, through these simple help-yourself techniques.  EFT was developed in the mid-Nineties and is now practised around the world in various languages.

EFT tapping is an acupressure-and-mindfulness stress relief technique —both  for in-the-moment help, DIY, also for addressing deeper issues  with experienced EFT practitioners.  A little knowledge of its basic technique can quickly transform a marriage (or a breakup!)

This can be so, even if only one half of a couple learns how to tap.

People don’t have to hurt each other

Best-selling author Dr. Joseph Mercola says, ‘There is a direct connection between emotions and physical health, so it’s not surprising that marital discord can trigger all sorts of heart-damaging problems.

‘But people don’t have to hurt themselves and each other. I’ve found EFT very effective in reducing stress and helping people lead happier, healthier lives.’

How does EFT do this?

EFT practitioners around the world report a 50% to 80% success rate in improving physical stress symptoms, such as body tensions, as well as emotional symptoms such as excessive anger.

According to Gary Craig, the Stanford-trained engineer who developed EFT, ‘No matter how angry someone might be, as soon as tapping balances the body’s energy, the anger literally disappears.

‘EFT has been shown to lower blood pressure, reduce heart palpitations,.

‘Conventional coping strategies tend to be ineffective because they fail to balance the vital energy pathways in the body called meridians.’

He adds that through tapping even people in an unhappy marriage can resume their discussions without experiencing the same habitual stress responses.

A wife and mother who developed serious heart palpitations and feared for her health and her relationship was surprised when a tapping session with me revealed the source – her long-standing fear of her husband’s angry tone of voice. (He would say he wasn’t angry, just speaking ‘enthusiastically’.)

We traced her fear back to a similar tone in her father’s voice, and we neutralised her fear through tapping, in one session.  The palpitations stopped that day.

Now she says, ‘If I hear that tone of my husband’s voice, it just rolls off me like water off a duck’s back. Sometimes I even laugh.’

EFT Tapping moves breakup anger

As a long-term EFT Coach and Trainer,  I see many women who discover EFT after their relationships end.

In these cases, tapping away wounded feelings and left-over hostility can usher in a new outlook, often quickly.

I recall a woman who walked into my consulting room, then looked as though she was about to bolt. Arms folded, tight-lipped, she said, ‘I’m afraid I’m wasting your time. I can’t see how this could possibly work for my problem.’ (Tapping on yourself does sound ridiculous!)

The problem, she said, was that she had been angry with her husband for nine solid months. ‘We’ve been married for twenty-five years, and now he’s been unfaithful. I found out nine months ago.  I can’t get over it.’

Naturally she was sceptical. How could tapping on herself change anything — especially because her anger issues seemed justified?

Persuaded to at least try, she stayed and tapped to collapse her angry feelings, learning basic EFT technique as she did so. Finally she admitted feeling calmer for the first time in months.

And she could continue basic tapping now by herself.

Her new emotional space enabled her to start thinking rationally about her future, instead of continuing to be stuck in helpless rage – a known heart risk.

Add EFT tapping to your marriage arguments?

Could that woman’s marriage have been saved? We don’t know. But lots of couples are now adding tapping to their marriage skills, so they can:

  • lower their stress levels quickly if a problem comes up
  • communicate much better with each other
  • and THAT means — they’ll deal with a problem faster and more easily than when they are stressed to the eyeballs
  • and THAT will probably spin off into a better sex life together – because couples who don’t communicate well out of bed seldom communicate really well, long-term, in bed

EFT help goes deeper

I constantly see that tapping can not only enable a person to dissolve anger quickly, but also how EFT’s many techniques can eliminate a person’s deep-seated need to keep being angry.

Amazingly, these seriously helpful behavioural techniques now exist!  They are known as energy therapies, and EFT is a leader in the field.

Both lay people and healthcare practitioners are able to use EFT effectively, after a little tuition.

Could EFT tapping save your marriage — and perhaps your life?

U.S. physician Dr. Eric Robins – who uses EFT tapping with his patients – says, ‘Positive thinking is nice, but the best mind-body therapies actually create shifts in how you feel in your body.

‘The Utah study evidenced how physical changes occur in the heart after arguments. With EFT, you can create physical shifts toward health by clearing the emotions out at a body level. This is called a physiological shift.’

Anger issues CAN be neutralised, and faster than you might think. How good is that?

So it’s up to you… Do you want to stay angry?  These days, this is a choice.


‘How can I learn EFT tapping?”

FREE GIFT . You can start by signing up for the free gift accompanying Annie’s free monthly EFT newsletter opt-in below:   ‘Start Learning EFT Tapping Right Away!’ (mini-ebook)

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